Night At The Roxbury
by the short bus
Summary: A night at the Roxbury will lead you to slip yourself some pink Zannies and dance around the house in all-over print panties.


On one fine and sunny day in Konoha, Gai and Rock Lee were at Starbucks, sipping on some coffee, gossiping endlessly about the latest fashion. Rock Lee smiled and blushed at Gai, who flexed his muscles in his spandex. Lee always had a crush on his sensei, but he would never admit it.

"I think I would look so good in a one-peice bikini." Gai said, smiling at the image.

"I think I would look _better_." Lee said, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Oh yeah?" Gai raised a brow.

Lee only smiled in return. "Yeah."

"As if!" Gai bellowed.

"Alright. I challenge you to a dance-off!" Rock Lee challenged.

"Fine!" Gai spat.

Out of nowhere, Kiba appeared holding a boom box over his head like one of those African American raggae men you'd see at the beach asking for money. He was playing "Who Let The Dogs Out" by Baha Men. Kiba gaze traveled over to both of the men, who looked at him with deviousness in both of their beady, asian eyes. He scratched his head, approaching them.

"Hey guys!" Kiba beamed happily, shaking his ass.

Kiba shaked his ass quite often, so everyone was used to it. The reason behind this weird habit was because Kiba thought he was a dog. He knows he doesn't have a tail, but he liked to pretend, by shaking his ass. Lee smacked Kiba's shaking ass, giving him a smile of approval. Kiba growled like a dog, letting foam drip out his mouth. Lee, slightly scared by the man's actions, took several steps back. Gai, oblivious to the whole situation at hand, smiled at Kiba.

"Kiba, it's so wonderful to see you and your boom box of youth!" Gai beamed, giving him a thumbs up.

"Uh, thanks." Kiba muttered.

"Beautiful and elegant Kiba, do you think we could borrow that snazzy boom box of your's?" Lee asked, batting his eyelashes and blowing kisses at Kiba.

Kiba blinked several times, before slowly nodding his head, handing over his boom box to the two odd men wearing green spandex.

"Just... don't break it or anything." Kiba said slowly, not sure if giving them his boom box was the best idea or not.

"We'll take awesome care of it!" Gai winked, giving Kiba another thumbs up.

"Um, alright."

Gai pulled a CD that coincidentally was in his spandex pants. He winked at Lee before popping it in the CD slot. Lee blushed in return, biting his bottom lip as he realized his spandex pants were getting tighter by the minute. Lee's eyes wandered down to his sensei's round and juicy ass. When Gai turned to face his pupil, his eyes nearly popped out of his head at the sight he saw; Lee had a hard-on! Lee's two inch penis was sticking straight out, looking as if someone put a Vienna sausage in his pants. Gai couldn't help himself, and let out an rumbling laugh, sounding simliar to Paul Bunyan. Lee crossed his legs, hiding his little penis, blushing madly.

"Lee! I didn't know you were _that_ small!" Gai laughed, pointing at the boy's crotch. "I mean, I know you're asian, and haven't hit puberty yet, but damn!"

Kiba was also laughing so hard that he was rolling around on the pavement.

"I-It's not the size that counts, it's the way you use it!" Lee insisted, his blush still evident on his cheeks.

"Not in your case, Lee!" Gai giggled, before pressing the 'Play' button on the boom box. "Now, put that juicy ass to work!"

Suddenly the song "Low" by Ludacris started playing. Lee's eyes widened as he watched his sensei squat down, both of his hands on his knees, and began shaking his juicy ass to the beat of the song. Lee's eyes couldn't stop following every movement that ass made. It was so easy to see how his ass cheeks bounced up in down in those tight spandex pants. Lee could even see Gai's small nuts bounce up and down. Lee knew he was supposed to be dancing, but he just could never top his sensei's booty-shaking.

"Lee!" Gai shouted, interuppting his thoughts. "Why the hell aren't you dancing?"

Lee gulped, and slowly tried to shake his pathetic excuse of a booty. After feeling little amount of fat on his ass shake, Lee tried to follow the moves of Gai. He grinded his hips in circles, lifting his hands over his head as if he was some exotic belly-dancer. Lee heard the shrill laughs of Kiba, but ignored the dog-boy. Suddenly, he noticed that they were suddenly attracting a crowd of pedestrians. Some people were laughing and pointing, others were recording it with their cellphones. Lee groaned with embarassment, but he would _not_ lose in this dance-off!

"Lee? What the _fuck _are you doing?"

Said person stiffened. He recognized that voice. It was no one other than Sakura Haruno! He quickly snapped his head to look at her, noticing that she was with Sasuke, both of their arms hooked together. Lee felt jealousy bubble within him, but he always knew he could never replace Sasuke in Sakura's heart. How he wished that Sakura would leave that chicken-haired asshole and come to him. But, deep down, he knew it would never happen... for obvious reasons.

"Gai-sensei challenged me to a dance-off! I am determined to win!" Lee said, continuing to grind his hips.

"Well, you _suck_ at dancing!" Sakura insulted.

The crowd around him started laughing at Sakura's insult. Soon they were all chanting at once, 'you suck' to him. The got louder and louder until Lee's ears hurt from all the loud voices around him. He even noticed Gai was singing along into a microphone that was attached to the boom box. Lee's vision blurred with tears as he stormed off. The crowd laughed and watched as Lee's spandex-covered form ran off into the Konoha streets.

Lee kept on running and running and somehow ended up in a dark alleyway. Lee leaned against the wall, burying his face in his hands. He hated that everyone always made fun of his eyebrows, his out-fit, his hair-cut, his voice, his personality, and now his dancing! It was too much for him to handle. Lee's mom always told him he was a wonderful dancer, while his father called him a faggot. Rock Lee smiled at the faint memory of him and his mother dancing to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" when he was in the 3rd grade.

Suddenly a ugly-ass clown with a green afro popped out of the trashcan. Lee screamed like that little boy from Home Alone, jumping back with pure fear. The clown smiled, revealing pointy, yellow teeth that stuck out in all directions.

"Damn! You need braces bad!" Lee screamed.

"Shut the fuck up." the clown gurgled.

The clown jumped out of the trashcan, revealing his attire to the asian boy. He was wearing a fluffy pink blouse and tight zebra-print skinny jeans. The clown's pale beer-gut was evident and hung over the skinny jeans. Lee screamed with horror and crouched in the corner, instead of running off for safety like a sensible person would do. The clown grunted, letting out a small fart that burned a hole through his thong and skinny jeans before approaching Lee.

"Me and my friends are gonna have fun with you, boy." the clown giggled.

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Gai was walking casually down the main street of Konoha, looking into the window of Victoria's Secret, in deep thought of what bikini he should buy. Suddenly a loud voice was calling his name. Snapping his head up, he met the frantic face of Naruto Uzumaki. Gai winked at the boy before turning his attention back to the swim-wear.

"Gai!" Naruto bellowed.

"What is it, Naruto?"

"It's Lee! Lee has been -"

"What? What happened to Lee?" Gai interuppted, his expression suddenly filled with fear and fright.

"Something terrible has happened to him, Gai! I just don't know how to tell you... I mean, since you guys are so close and all." Naruto mumbled, fiddling with his fingers.

"Where's my pupil?" Gai demanded, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

"He was... he was..." Naruto trailed off.

"He was _what_?" Gai demanded.

"He was... kidnapped... by clowns." Naruto said slowly, looking at the ground sadly.

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AN: Hope you enjoyed, bitches and gentlemen. Let me know what you think!


End file.
